Chip, The Series
by Star Chip
The ref signaled for a thirty second TV timeout, sports most exciting two minutes, as I resumed my game day routine. I was working the nape of her neck south, southwest of the lobe when it happened. Easy, fellas, this is a family column. I heard the first note of "Jail House Rock", the familiar ring tone of my attorney, Blue Moon Retainer.
My almost imperceptible hesitation, was enough to turn her romantic green light into a flashing red. On the second ring, just as my front door was slamming shut, I answered the phone. I then asked this question. "Moon, is it civil or is it criminal?" He said, whoa Chip, it's the Golf Channel and they want to talk. Good God, the Golf Channel, is it copy write infringement or is it Arnie Abuse? No, he said, it was not a legal matter. In fact, their people want to talk to our people about doing a television series.
The television show is a good idea Moon, but do you think meeting our people is? Golf Channel wants to do something unusual, edgy and on the fringe of the game. They have done some research and our names keep popping up.
Oh, I see. You know, "The Fringe" would be a clever name for the show. We could have weekly segments from the boys on their personal areas of expertise. It could be filmed from the bar with a live audience. (Editors note: 7 second delay for beeping purposes might be a good idea.)
Big Al could talk about Blue Lights and liars dice. Doug "Air Marshall" Canovas could handle all travel related questions. John Jurgins with the Big Cat acting as his ears, will answer audience inquiries regarding cart girl etiquette. Mr. Marco will tackle fashion while Billy F talks. It will be the first show that talks about the fringe areas of golf without talking about golf. The inner game played after the game.
Moon, don't you think Mel's Mixology Corner would be the perfect spot for guest stars. People like Sean Connery, Charles Barkley, Justin Timberlake and John Daly. Stars we have seen around golf courses, but don't really play. Plus star power brings chicks to the audience, and that's good television. Don't believe me, just watch a re-run of Star Trek.
Of course, smoking jackets will be required.