Emperors, Kings, and Club Champions
by Chip Augustus
Noblesse Obligie. According to the behavioral code of noble birth, nobility obligates. The problem is, emperors, kings and club champions are just not like the rest of us. It is not that their attempts at being gracious are not genuine, Louie the 14th did give the world the ascot, it is that they do not understand our needs. Sure, Mary's gift of cake to the Scots was a p.r. nightmare, but did she really have to lose her head over it? For the love of cake man, we have to embrace their differences not fight them. We must be empowered by their smug, mocking ways, not be offended by them.
Let us examine the average club champion and his irritating ways in an effort to better understand this strange golfer. First, his spotless shoes never seem to touch mud, casual water or even the rough. His socks have never had those &^%$# stickers hanging off them that come from lion country (if you find your ball in those places, you're lying). Who is this man? Double bogie's are as foreign to him as a free drink is to the grill. Fairways and greens in regulation are not only common place, but monotonously boring. What do these men talk to their bartenders about, even par?
Club champions are misunderstood for a very simple reason, they are good. It is our responsibility, as loyal members, to reign in the mighty like it was tyranny or injustice. We must protect the field and bring these men back down to our levels.
E Tu Brute
Next month: Scholar Chip writes about, College football, the point spread and you