New Year Resolutions PCGC Style
By Calendar Chip
In my position as America’s most unread columnist, I have unusual access to our members inner most thoughts and hopes. It is similar to the lawyer/client, priest/confessor, shine boy/shoe relationship. Apply a little sage advice or a high gloss finish and our members have loose lips. Although there are certain “bendy” legal conditions regarding my silence, I still would like to thank those with extra-curriculars for their generosity. As Decorum is my middle name, my parents have a very odd sense of humor, I will reveal only the New Year resolutions of our membership. Sorry Cabo, I will never , I repeat, never publish yours in this column.
Here are the PCGC Resolutions for 2020:
Mike Love plans to begin ground breaking on his presidential library. With the publication of my second book later this spring, Mike will be housing three volumes.
Blue Moon Retainer vows not to be on the bubble Match Play Saturday. “THIS IS MY YEAR”, said, the club’s lowest handicapped attorney.
Bill Feeley says he will bring his other club in Twaine Harte into the modern era, “I will introduce the range finder slowly up there. I think it is time, they can handle it. Of course I will do it one at a time,” said the jovial Bill.
Willy N.A.M. Aguilar has pledged to share his cultural heritage with the club. “Germany is unappreciated, like you Chip, and it should be celebrated,” said NAM.
Kevin, Jim and the rest of the Son’s of Civil Servants are actively pressuring legislature to make Vodka/Cranberry the official state drink. We are so close to this I can taste it, In fact, I think I will. “Mel, ordering here,” stated spokesman Frank O’Malley.
Bryan Ungaretti has vowed more birdies. When reminded this braggadocio was unbecoming of a multiple club champion, Bryan pointed to his goofy camo pants and Duck’s Unlimited sticker and just smiled.
Keith Gonsalves will play two months with one set of clubs without tinkering, changing swing weights, shafts or manipulating the manufacturers offering in any way, shape or form. “It’s a challenge, and you guys all know how I get when someone challenges me.”
Gary DeSantis, remember him? He has vowed to help Mike Love with his library. “I could be a valuable resource for Mike, I was a president and I do have a current library card, All we will really need is a good long distance phone plan, as I am not always sure of my current whereabouts.”
Randsy G having the good of the greater club at heart, has promised to keep Mel happy. “When she’s happy, the whole club is happy, said Randy.
Good luck men on reaching these lofty goals. Happy New Year everyone.